Quiet! We are busy fighting a war for freedom—abroad. You must give up your freedom here at home (unless you are currently in power).

More than two million people are behind bars in America. The U.S. currently ranks number one in terms of the ratio of its citizens incarcerated per population. There's a lot of "justice" in the good old U.S. of A. Or a lot of criminals. Maybe we just have too many laws to keep track of. Anyway, it costs us more than $60 billion to keep the nasties locked up. The good news: they get the worst health care of any group in our society. There goes that theory about coddling our criminals. That's okay, though, because these bad boys and girls got caught and convicted of breaking our laws, even though some of them didn't actually do the deed that they got sent to prison for. Tough, somebody has to make sacrifices for this country to be great. Just as long as it ain't me and mine.

Oh, yeah, states are cutting health care to prisoners. "In as much as you do this unto the least …"

The War on Terror: In the past decade more than 300 linguists were forced out of the military because they were gay. In the meantime, terrorists are buying guns right here in the U.S., legally. It's good to know we have our priorities in order. We can't get good info in the Mid-East because we don't have enough people who speak Arabic or Farsi, but our guys in uniform are safe from contamination from gay guys. And our gun dealers are safe from unfair regs that might actually prevent them from selling weapons to thugs, murderers, and terrorists.