News Flash!

Tricky Dick Cheney denies neither he nor the bumbling Prez lied about the causes for America's invasion of Iraq. In Monday's news conference stated before hand-picked 'Publican die hards, Tricky Dick explained that simply because something wasn't true doesn't make it a lie. "You have to know something's a lie for it to be a lie." Tricky Dick said. "And we made sure that no one knew the truth so that our lies couldn't possibly be lies."

TD further stipulated, "Our CIA boys understand their jobs. They know what information to provide us with. Good information. Knowledge that can be used to justify our honorable intentions to prove to the world that we can and will win the Vietnam War in the Middle-East."

One of the 'Publican die-hards, who had been examining something he'd extracted from his nose, asked TD what the pointy things coming out of TD's head were all about. TD responded with some obscure reference to his good buddy, Meph (?), who, some correspondents have noticed, has been shadowing him for some years now.