President Bush Defines Who Is a Terrorist

President Bush has defined for us, at last, who the terrorists are: "Anybody opposed to my administration is a terrorist."

The President, obviously upset that his good buddies have been prosecuted by terrorist district attorneys, has made it clear that he is perfectly within his legal rights to do whatever he sees fit with government agencies in pursuit of his political enemies.

"When a lie serves our political ends," the president said, "it isn't a lie, and anyone who says otherwise is aiding and sleeping with terrorisms."

There has been wide spread speculation among Fox pundits whether the president's next move is to postpone the 2006 elections in the United States until 3006 or simply to establish military law. Both moves are possible, according to The National Organization of Revealed Truth (also known as Fox News).

On the lighter side of the news, the oil companies, who have bought and paid for the White House, continue to make massive profits, greater than anyone, including them, could have ever imagined. The CEO of Mobil Oil was recently seen dancing down K Street in Washington, singing, "I'm a rich'n! I'm a rich'n!" My, my, it does warm your heart.

Note: Definition of "enemy combatent": Anyone opposed to the establishment of the Bush Theocracy, i.e. John McCain, Arlen Specter, and anyone else who advocates the "one man, one vote" principal.