Exxon Mobil Scores Massive Record Profits

While poor American workers were struggling to keep their lives together while paying almost double their energy costs just to get back and forth to work and to heat their homes, Exxon Mobil was scoring unimaginable profits: $36 Billion!

The company dwarfed even Wally-World in earnings, but for some reason they seem ashamed for having made so much money off the backs of American workers and retirees. You'd think such a successful company would be racing around bragging about their accomplishment. Why not? Could it be that they are aware that their profits amount to little more than extortion?

To put things in another light: Exxon Mobil is now richer than most of the countries in the world. For instance, its $371 billion in revenues last year were greater than the gross national product of Indonesia ($245 billion), an OPEC member and the world's fourth most populous country.

So will the government hit the oil giants with any new taxes, say to try to help rebuild New Orleans or to fight Bush's war in Iraq?

Well, the Republican controlled congress has introduced a bill that would tax the biggest oil companies, but Emporer Bush has already stated that he would veto any bill that included a tax on the oil companies. This will allow the Republicans to go home and tell their constituencies that they tried to do something about the oil companies' greed, but the Emporer just wouldn't let them. Sounds like a political ploy to me.

President Bush Defines Who Is a Terrorist

President Bush has defined for us, at last, who the terrorists are: "Anybody opposed to my administration is a terrorist."

The President, obviously upset that his good buddies have been prosecuted by terrorist district attorneys, has made it clear that he is perfectly within his legal rights to do whatever he sees fit with government agencies in pursuit of his political enemies.

"When a lie serves our political ends," the president said, "it isn't a lie, and anyone who says otherwise is aiding and sleeping with terrorisms."

There has been wide spread speculation among Fox pundits whether the president's next move is to postpone the 2006 elections in the United States until 3006 or simply to establish military law. Both moves are possible, according to The National Organization of Revealed Truth (also known as Fox News).

On the lighter side of the news, the oil companies, who have bought and paid for the White House, continue to make massive profits, greater than anyone, including them, could have ever imagined. The CEO of Mobil Oil was recently seen dancing down K Street in Washington, singing, "I'm a rich'n! I'm a rich'n!" My, my, it does warm your heart.

Note: Definition of "enemy combatent": Anyone opposed to the establishment of the Bush Theocracy, i.e. John McCain, Arlen Specter, and anyone else who advocates the "one man, one vote" principal.

Death Penalty in CA

Thank God California has done the right thing and sidelined that foolish Democratic attempt to bring about a moratorium on the death penalty! We gained immense satisfaction recently with the execution of an old blind man in that state and a children's book author. How dare those ignorant Democrats try to take away our entertainment? We'd be reduced to watching old Rambo films!